Health: Two Sides of the Same Coin

Liz and Mom June 2015Having a health crisis really highlights the fact that no matter how self-reliant, independent and capable you consider yourself to be, there will be times when you must rely on other people – plain and simple. As a mom, one of the goals in raising my children was to help them be independent, capable adults. It is one thing to have a 3 month old crying helplessly for you or a 3 year old needing your help to tie their shoes or help them get dressed. It’s a whole different thing to have a 20 or 30 year old who is totally reliant on you, unless of course they have some type of disability. I am not talking about that as I know several moms with adult children who need their constant and daily help for that reason. And I not only pray for them but am constantly in awe of their total devotion to their children.

I am talking here about a perfectly able-bodied young adult who is relies on his or her parents instead of growing a backbone, getting to work and learning to take care of life themselves.

That being said, even the most capable, able-bodied, independent, self-reliant person will experience times when they either physically or emotionally need help. It’s at those times when we have to set ego aside, admit we need help, not see it as weakness or a flaw, ask and be willing to receive, with gratitude. As challenging as asking is – receiving can be just as difficult for many of us! We all like to be the givers, but we must all be willing to receive as well. Giving and receiving – those are the two sides of the same coin and we must have both. In fact, if you insist on only giving or only receiving you become stagnant as you quench the natural flow God intended.

Maybe you are used to being the giver and you feel uncomfortable receiving – anything – help, a compliment, encouragement. As wonderful as giving makes you feel, it is wrong to deprive someone else of that joy. That’s food for thought…

I have been learning this lesson in a deeper way. As a mom you expect to help your children. We love to give and nurture and bless our children in any way we can. In fact, if we are honest, we love being needed by them. At least I did and still do. You don’t really expect them to have to be there to help you and it can be a very humbling albeit gratifying experience. While it feels somehow wrong for your child – even an adult child – to be cooking, cleaning and caring for you – when you stop and see their love and devotion you can’t help but feel gratitude that they have grown into these loving, selfless people.

That’s something I experienced. My daughter who still lives at home while pursuing her Masters absolutely stepped into my shoes cleaning the house, shopping, paying bills, cooking and taking care of her dad while I was in the hospital, as well as being there with me every day. When I got home she became as she put it, “my personal chef” making all my meals, serving me, sitting with me and doing anything I needed.

Each of my sons, who live in other states, got the ok from their jobs to work remotely and each spent a week with me – my son Matthew staying with me while I was in the hospital and my son Christopher coming to stay with me when I came home.

To say I struggled a bit with having them do so much for me is an understatement, but God opened my eyes to see it from His perspective. I began to praise Him for these incredible human beings He allowed me the privilege of raising. I remember reading something Rabbi Lapin wrote about Jewish wisdom saying we should allow our children to do things for us as it increases their love for us. I could see that truth in my experience.

(P.S. that is a picture of me and my beautiful daughter taken this past June on my birthday.)

Do you find it difficult to ask for help? Do you find it difficult to be on the receiving end?

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About amusico

I am a holistic health coach and independent nutritional consultant. All my coaching plans are based on my 3-D Living program and a big part of that are the Youngevity Products and Supplements I proudly offer! Visit my website at http://www.threedimensionalvitality.com and learn more about the products and my coaching plans!
This entry was posted in Gratitude, Overall Health and Wholeness, Women's Issues and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

8 Responses to Health: Two Sides of the Same Coin

  1. What a beautiful picture and a beautiful love story.  Yes i have trouble receiving too.  Both are important.   Thank you for sharing. 

    Have a Victorious Day!  Marianne

    Sent via phone so please excuse typos and brevity.

  2. marcytravis says:

    Ann,
    I love this topic! It does feel unnatural to accept help from your children, but isn’t it wonderful that we raised such caring, loving, competent adults?
    The picture of you and your daughter is precious. What a gift!

    • amusico says:

      Thank you so much Marcy – yes it really lets you see that all the love and sacrifice you put into raising them is bearing fruit. What a great gift to come out of all this for me.

  3. myhriahyoung says:

    Ann, that’s so refreshing to hear. I am in the middle of raising teenagers, and while they are both great kids, and I know they love me, there are many times that I have to remind myself that “they will understand someday when they are older.” This is good for my mama ears to hear 🙂
    Oh, and yes, I hugely struggle with accepting help. This was something I had to learn to let go of a bit with my depression. My natural inclination is to isolate myself, and say nothing, but that’s the exact opposite of what I need when I am struggling 🙂 I can completely, 100% relate to this post!
    Thank you for sharing.

    • amusico says:

      Yes Myhriah there is light at the end of the mothering tunnel!! We always joked that if anything ever happened to us when we got older one of our boys would take care of us but when it counted my daughter showed her true colors and stepped up. It was really heartwarming. And I’m glad you could relate to the issue of taking or not taking help – I think pretty much most or all women struggle with this – at least the ones I’ve spoken to.

  4. Ann, how special to see your children step up in your time of need. I know they were blessed for it too. I see a family resemblance—two very lovely ladies!

    • amusico says:

      Thank you Debbie – they’re amazing kids and I am so blessed to have them. You are one of the few to ever say there’s a resemblance between me and my daughter! She looks just like my mother in law who was a gorgeous woman.

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